Thursday, March 20, 2014

Monochromatic Minimilism Vs Pastel Puke

ASOS Curve Shadow Floral Peg Leg Trousers ~ £22, SimplyBe Sleeveless Blazer ~ £45, Regal Rose Freya Raven Skull Necklace ~ £11, New Look Monochrome Cut Out Boots ~ £29.99, SimplyBe Waffle Cocoon Top ~ £28, Maria Francesca Pepe Silver Spike Hoop Earrings ~ £27, SimplyBe Organza Short Sleeve Shirt ~ £40.

Crisp, sharp, pulled together.

Not words I associate with myself, but I find the aesthetic rather beautiful.

ASOS Balloon Animal Cropped Shirt ~ £10.50 (On Sale!), Regal Rose Rose Quartz Unicorn Horn Necklace ~ £32, New Look Mint Raglan Jumper ~ £22.99, Regal Rose Amethyst Necklace ~ £16, ASOS Pom Pom Headband ~ £10, Modern Girl Blitz "Not Your Doll" Pin ~ $2, Modern Girl Blitz Ghost World "Everyone's Too Stupid" Pocket Mirror ~ $5, Shelly's London Mint Blue Lace Up Boots ~ £60, Black Heart Creatives Morrissey Cupcake Necklace ~ £13.50, New Look Inspire High Waisted Shorts ~ £19.99, Boohoo Plus Floral Bodycon Dress ~ £18, cryybaby Feminist Brooch ~ £3.

Bonkers, brash and b-b-bold!

In your face, but oh so sweet about it. I'm thinking of adding a little more pastel to my goth.

Which style board are you drawn too?

Do you prefer candy colours or more simple shades?
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Sunday, March 16, 2014

OotD: This Is My Person Suit

Denim Dress ~ ASOS Curve
Sheer Black & Tartan Shirt ~ George at Asda

Black Leggings ~ Evans
Creepers ~ Underground UK

The title is a lie, I actually wore this last week and forgot I took pictures. Consummate professional me.

I wore this to go the Manchester Craft & Design Centre with a friend. We were walking past Affleck's Palace and I said to her "Oh its full of goth tat in there.... Which kind of desrcibes my style, though I feel pretty normal and incognito today." My friend looked at me and said "No."

So yes, this minus the lipstick which was pink during the day, is what I think a passing as not an example of gothic tat style. I hope someone gets my title reference, it is pretty perfect.

I have far too many denim dresses, but I couldn't resist this one, the buttons and shape are just lovely. I can imagine wearing this in the summer without leggings or top underneath, oh I am looking forward to that so very much!

Warning about this dress for those big chests, you will need to size up. The denim doesn't have a huge amount of stretch and isn't made for a top heavy person it seems.

As always a lovely outtake of me being silly below!

Hope you're all having a lovely time and having fun in the sun that is peeking through the clouds now again this almost Spring season.

What do you think of my toned down look? Do you ever try and blend in a little and does it ever work?

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Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Love Every Body #3: Chest Area

This Love Every Body's topic is the chest/boobs. Fortunately for you lot I am not getting my top off just yet, you perverts!
TW: Boobs (I guess?), menstruation mention, body talk, fat talk, body hate, fatphobia.

I am really not sure the age of most people who read my blog, I sort of assume from my age, 23 all the way up to some rather lovely ladies in their 40s and 50s. I've never considered the fact that younger people might be reading my rambling.

So if you are (and even if you're not) gather round, my loves, time for Auntie Sian to share her wisdom.

Things I Have Learned About Having Boobs:

  • Not all boobs are made equally.

    This includes on your own body. I remember being freaked out when one boob grew in a few sizes bigger than the other, this is completely normal. Your boobs are growing, unfortunately puberty makes things grow all askew, even your legs will be slightly different lengths. In fact your breasts keep growing into your twenties. Nearly all women have one breast larger than the other, sometimes this is barely noticeable and other times there will a few cup size difference. So know you are not weird, you are in fact, wonderfully beautiful just like everyone else.

    Equally not all breasts are shaped the same, we see so much through sexualised images of women in magazines and on tv, that we think there is a set mould of what boobs look like, but that is balderdash! Here (NSFW because boobs) is a great website which shows in non sexualised pictures how every pair of breasts is totally unique. Shape, size, colour, nipple size, nipple colour, its all different for everyone and they are all gorgeous!
  •  Spots can occur wherever you have skin.
Yep, even there and there and all over there! In fact chest acne is common enough that you can buy body washes with spot fighting elements. As someone with bad skin I will admit to having bad skin on my boobs and back too. Oh the glory of the human form, eh? Once again, totally normal! Everyday even. You can fight this off with acne body washes or using your cleanser on your body too. No need to be embarrassed at all!

  • Where there is skin there is hair!

    I know this will shock you, but human beings are mammals and mammals are hairy beasts! Modern humans are pretty backwards about body hair in my personal opinion. I wish I'd been given a proper talk about body hair as a young one as when I noticed hairs on my chin and boobs I thought I was turning into a werewolf! Blame too much watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and not enough concentration in Biology class, but I think this is far too taboo a subject. I have hair on my chest and so do you, I bet! I do believe thicker hair growth can be a symptom of PCOS. Whatever your hair condition, thick, black, blonde and pale, its natural. Do not worry a second more about what is by definition the natural state of your body.

    Hear this, people with boobs, if you take your top of in front of another person, if they go "eeeeeeeew boob hair!" they are far too immature to be seeing your without your top on. Pop it back on, tell them to bog off and find yourself someone who will appreciate you.
  • Boobs exist in a state of flux.

    Nearly everyone who has periods owns a pair of period pants, that's just a fact. But believe me, my dove, when I say you will need a period bra. Boobs change, they swell and shrink with your cycle, if you have one and becoming pregnant, having a child and breastfeeding can also change your boobs. Your breasts are amazing, there primary, biological reason for existing is to nourish children, they are magical! They will change and age just as you will, they will sag and wrinkle, accept the way your body gains experiences.
  •  Exposure or modesty?
Neither of these states mean anything. If you cover up your chest or you wear nothing at all on top, this does not affect who you are. You may take pride in either states, fluctuate or exist between the two, maybe you never even think about it. A common trope thrown at people with breasts is that we are slutty if we expose them or frigid if we don't, its a lose/lose situation. I implore any young people reading this to stop judging each other based on the area of skin you cover, but on who that person really is. Next time you feel a nasty comment bubble acidically up your throat question why you are about to say it, ask yourself if its to tear that person down or to lift yourself up. If you need lifting up, do not do it by hurting another person, move away from that situation, look after yourself, look after your sisters.

  • Monitor those puppies!

    God that is an awful subtitle, but it belies a serious message. Breast cancer is something that can be lethal, but the earlier it is caught the better the chances of survival. I know you're young and therefore invincble, but a check every now and again could save your life.

    Here is a great website about how to check your breasts, what changes to look for and a very informative video to boot.

My personal experience:

I have quite a weird relationship with my chest. I grew up thinking I'd be 6 foot 5 like my brothers and with huge, great boobs like my mum, but neither of these things happened. So I've always felt disappointingly short and lacking in the boob department. In fact I wore a 38C from 13 until 22 because I was so embarrassed to go get fitted. Recently I tried some online fitting and trying different bras on and I'm wearing a 42D/40DD depending what brand I get. This sounds big, but I still see myself as being part of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee because relative to my frame and stomach my boobs do look small.

Among the incredibly common fatphobic things said to fat women "At least you have big boobs." has to be in a top ten and I realise that most women who hear this will hate it with a passion, but as a young girl this is all I wanted! I was a fat child and a fatter teen, so when this fat person didn't even have the one body part society finds redeeming about fat women, well.... I was rather miffed. I wasn't the fat girl with the pretty face or the fat girl with the big boobs. I was just fat girl.

I had a very good friend as a teen who was a dancer, so she was very fit and active. She once said "As long as my boobs are bigger than my stomach then I feel ok." We were both very young, so hadn't finished developing and she was tiny compared me, so being the over sensitive lump that I reacted rather badly. I didn't say a word to her, but I realised my boobs were only slightly bigger than my stomach and I felt dreadful. Nowadays my stomach beats my boobs unless they're corralled into a truly pushy, push up bra and I don't give a fig.


I hope anyone who has got this far found this interesting and may have even learned something. I would love some comments adding to my "Things I Have Learned About Boobs" list, I'm sure we've all learned a lot by now!

(I also tried to keep the language in this section as gender neutral as possible because lbgtqia! If any problematic language remains please tell me.)

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

OotD: Print Mixing Dressolutions

I'm Not Dead.

Though January does not agree with me. I have been quite depressed, had about 5 different viruses and my course load has been heavy, so blogging took a back seat.

This means this post has been pushed way into February. Sorry, Marisota

For that is who has sent me these lovely clothes for the Marisota Dressolution Challenge.

Fluffy Geometric Cardigan ~  c/o Marisota*
Glasses Print Top ~ c/o Marisota*
Polka Dot Prom Skirt ~ c/o Marisota*
Black Petticoat ~ Domino Dollhouse
Velvet Creepers ~ Dr. Martens
Personalised Necklace ~ Black Heart Creatives

Marisota sent out a rather intriguing email at the start of the year asking what our "Dressolutions" are for this new year. A dressolution is a style resolution to give your style a fresh start, to try something different and push yourself in a new way.

I chose to try print mixing as its something I so admire in other bloggers, but tend to avoid for myself. I decided to chose only items with a print so I couldn't hide behind blocks of colour! I was so worried after confirming these items as I thought they would not work together at all, but I am digging this look. Staying in a monochrome means all the prints mix really well, so still a little safe, but I think its still a step out of my comfort zone and in the right direction.

I have to say I am a little obsessed with these items, especially the cardigan. It is the softest, warmest, lovely hug of a cardigan! Its definitely the piece I have worn most, its such an easy piece to throw over an outfit when I'm running out of the door in the cold morning to university.

I think the three quarter sleeves also make it a little more fashion forward, plus makes its a transitional item for spring and lets be honest English summer.

In all the pictures so far I've had a Domino Dollhouse petticoat under the skirt. You can see that the skirt has a mesh layer, two satiny layers and a tulle layer. For the price this is a freaking dream piece.

Let's talk about this skirt! I sort of expected it not to live up to my expectations because it looked so wonderfully poofy online, but rest assured as you can see it is a proper cupcake of a skirt. I know a lot of people will wonder where on earth they will wear a mesh and tulle prom skirt? My simple answer is that I have another dressolution this year, that is to wear whatever the fuck I want, wherever the fuck I like!

I wore this outfit walking my dogs (because fashion, darling) and got some odd looks, probably due to the blue hair and prom skirt. I recommend you disregard any onlookers stares, for if you wear a kick ass cupcake skirt, you are the fiercest of the fierce and they are only stares of envy and pure awe.

Look at that poof.... Skirt isn't bad either.


Its been so long, that you've missed my hair being pink! I hated it, so blue was the way forward. Pravana in blue, with a few lighter coloured dispersed for depth. Perfection.

Obligatory silly face.

How have you been, my doves? Do you have any Dressolutions for this year?

Monday, January 06, 2014

Love Every Body: Everything Above The Neck

My face today:

 This is me as I sit here typing, in a great amount of pain because of my ankle and as my mother would say "female problems", which has caused some breakouts. I've recently dyed my hair, but I'm already regretting the colour. I've bought replacement dye, so this will soon be rectified. The sides of my mouth are cut up from a previous virus, this is my face, in fact everything above my neck not prettied up for pictures, just as I am most days.

I have a love/hate relationship with my face, for years and years I thought if my skin cleared up, I worked out how to use make-up correctly then the fact I was fat would be negated. I would be one of those girls who got told they had pretty faces (for a fat girl). Seriously, that was one of my aims in life, how times have changed. Though I reject this premise now I still hate my skin. Its always been a problem, that I cannot seem to get a handle on, I have a fairly good routine, but due to depression issues I can go for weeks and months without doing it because well washing your face doesn't seem like a priority when you can barely get up everyday. I wish I was pale, not pink!

 Another thing that initially grates on me in the today's first photos is the hair on my chin. Its something I actually never noticed until my blog was linked to a french forum where they make fun of bloggers. I noticed a lot of traffic so visited the site, big mistake! They blew up pictures of my neck, pointing out my "beard". Really, I know I have very fair hair, so I'm "lucky" in that respect, but seeing yet another thing about me that was not right.... Took a lot out of me, I can tell you, but I refuse to play that game any more. I have hair on my face, I am a mammal, it is blonde hair, that catches the light, say what you like, I'll laugh at your pathetic yammering whilst stroking my whiskers!

My last post and instagram selfies have had people commenting on my eyes, which was rather nice, I like the colour of my eyes, but in photos I tend to try and open them as wide as possible as they look tiny on my face! Doing self portraits in school made me realise my eyes are not level and one of my eyes closes more than the other. I know these are tiny things, other people probably do not see them, but when you look at your face and see things that are not "normal" it can make you very insecure. More and more I am seeing them as one of my most beautiful features.

What I love most about my face is that it is a canvas, I can paint it whatever way I like, black lips, full goth or bright eye colours & more glitter, why ever not? I love how when I really, properly smile you can tell because my eyes almost close, that is also the only time my smile isn't totally lopsided. I love my expressions, how I can dead pan, but never for very long, but most of all I love the ridiculous faces I pull usually at my mother or brother.

Though of everything above my neck my favourite thing is, of course, you know what is coming... My hair! Its been a great way of expressing myself and just having fun. I remember when I was a child my oldest brother dying his hair black, blue on multiple occassions, with a pink streak or fringe and just thinking it was the best thing in the world, that you didn't have to keep your appearance static, that you didn't have to have a natural hair colour. It was a revelation to tiny me, even being oh so naughty and rebellious (not) in my high school adding a green dip dye and later totally blue hair, which was against the rules. Coloured hair, changing my hair style and cut just makes me happy, it could even be seen as a way I have control over my life, often big hair cuts have been around stressful or big moments in my life.

One thing I hope to do this year is take more selfies, so I am getting back to my instagram because I think cataloging and getting to know yourself through photographs can be very therapeutic. Oh and to do something done with my eyebrows, maybe threading or shaving the fuckers off if needs be!

This is the second post of the lovely Leah's Love Every Body body positive series. I did not fulfill the first part, a letter to your body for personal reasons, but I am looking forward to going back and reading everyone's posts. I think its a wonderful series and if you don't follow Leah, then go, quick! She is fantastic, stylish, warm, genuine and all around lovely lady!

Sunday, January 05, 2014

OotD: Let's Pretend Its Christmas (Or Not)

Navy Velvet Dress ~ Beth Ditto @ Evans (via the wonderful Cass Parsnips)
Studded Shoulder Cardigan ~ SimplyBe
Glitter Tights ~ Marks & Spencers
Pewter Boots ~ Evans
Whistle Necklace ~ Vivienne Westwood
Lipstick ~ Funny Face by Nars

The holidays are over! This grinch is celebrating by putting up old pictures of what I wore on Christmas day, no make-up except lipstick because the rest of the day was onesie town.

This dress is perfection, nabbed it off Cass over at Plump Parsnip, this dress has been calling me for years but navy has been my power colour recently. You may be able to tell but my hair was supposed to be navy, I got a box of blue black hair colour and it was a lie, it was just black! So I added blue dye over the top.

If you follow me on twitter or instagram then you'll know my hair colour has changed again since these pictures!

I spent a few weeks agonising over these boots, but when a 25% off code came up during Evans advent calendar I cracked because I could see them so beautifully with this dress.

These photos came out pretty badly because my brother was too busy taking pictures of my other brother playing with the dogs!

Hope you all had a wonderful and safe Christmas!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Be Safe This Christmas

Christmas can be a very hard time of the year. Depression, anxiety, family problems and alcoholics family members can make Christamas hard for me personally and I know there are many of you out their with similar problems. I just want everyone to be safe this Christmas, so if you feel in danger in anyway or just need to vent, please call one of these numbers below.

If you are suicidal or in danger of hurting yourself, please call 999 (UK) or your own country's emergency services. Please do not go through this alone, ask for help, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you indescribably strong.

Remember to make your safety number one, especially during hard times like the holidays.


0300 123 3393


08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous

0845 769 7555
(As a child of alcoholics and someone who knows many people who have gone through addiction with and without AA I cannot promote them here. I believe they are more harm than help. Below are alternatives.)

National Alcohol Hotline

0800 917 8282

NACOA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics)

0800 358 3456


Info line 08000 50 20 20

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324

0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide

0800 068 4141

For people in Northern Ireland

0808 808 8000


0800 1111



0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association

0845 634 1414


0808 800 4444

NHS Direct

0845 4647

No Panic

0808 808 0545

Cruse Bereavement Care

Child Death Hepline

0800 282 986

Hearing Voices Network

  0114 271 8210

Age UK Advice Line
0800 169 6565

 National Self Harm Network

0800 622 6000

Talk To Frank (Drug information & advice)

 0800 77 66 00

Rape and Abuse Line
0808 8000 123 (Answered by Female Support Workers) 
0808 8000 122 (Answered by Male Support Workers)

SupportLine Telephone Helpline
01708 765200

(Confidential emotional support for Children, Young People and Adults. Also keeps details of agencies, support groups and counsellors throughout the UK)

If you need someone, please call one of these numbers. You are NOT alone over Christmas, there are people out there that care, I care.


I know a lot of people have problems talking on the phone (or do not have the privacy to do so), so this year I am adding some online chat resources.

(If you are in crisis or considering suicide, please click the Chat Now button to talk with one of our volunteers.)

You can email the Samaritans at

Mental Earth
Online chat capabilities for those with mental illness

Now have an online chat system.

If you know of any that should be on this list, please share and I will add them on.


Combat Stress
A Veteran & Soldier's Mental Health Charity
Helpline 0800 138 1619